Confessions of An Abused Kid

So the last seven days have been a bit of a weird week if I'm honest, even by my own standards!. I've been up and down like a bloody yoyo, been flat on my arse at points, at others I've received such positivity and experienced such happiness and yet The Demon that is my inner [...]

'To err is human, to forgive, divine.' Alexander Pope, 1711. Forgiveness is a really difficult thing for me. Generally I can absolutely forgive, completely, wholly and without reproach. Generally. I find it really simple to forgive when it's me that's been wronged. When I am the one who has been hurt or aggrieved I can box [...]

Family time is always a bit of a hit or miss for me, sometimes it goes really well and I leave feeling recharged and refreshed, other times can be difficult and draining. Like every family I guess. Lately though, things have been a bit different and I've more often than not been left with quite [...]

I'm struggling. I've just spent the best weekend with two of my oldest, closest friends which ended up in a very deep conversation about childhoods, adulthoods and the road to wellness. These kids have been in my life for the last 30 years so know me very, very well however I discovered that one had no knowledge [...]

I always wanted kids, always thought that they were part of my future. I even had a bit of an agreement as such with a pal, probably the same deal lots of gay friends the world over have; "when we grow up we'll have a kid together, share custody and it will be faaaabulous", that [...]

And not just when I laugh either. (See what I did there.....) Let me just say that I am by no means a miserable sod, not by along shot. Generally I'm quite a positive person, at least I try to be anyway. What I'm aware of is that I often experience happiness differently to others. [...]

So there I was, early to mid 1990's, absolutely convinced I was the master of my own destiny and in complete control of my badass self. Put plainly I was nothing short of a slag. Every inch of value, worth or purpose I had was completely embroiled in my expression of my own sexual prowess. [...]

So my partner and I were in the car the other morning listening to an episode of a podcast series commemorating 50 years since the beginning of decriminalisation of poovery in England and Wales. Each week the host speaks to well known gay men and gets their take on the different struggles of growing up, [...]

You know those moments when you suddenly understand something about yourself, suddenly recognise something you either couldn't or wouldn't accept? Ever had one when watching a movie? Ever had two?? I have. Picture the scene, it's 1994, i'm 18 years old and head so far up my own arse I could kiss my own colon. [...]

Perception. Everything in our lives is influenced by, or comes down to individual perception, be that how an object is marketed, likes or dislikes, how we form our own personal goals or more commonly how we view each other, our lives, our values and even our worth. Generally what one person sees as garbage, another [...]